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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:27:49 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:27:49 GMT
this thread is exactly what it says on the tin.
Post and read and tell your mates
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:29:18 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:29:18 GMT
Five little pigs walk into a bar. The first pig asks the bartender for a beer. The pig finishes the beer and asks where the bathroom is. The second pig goes up to the bartender and asks for two beers. The second pig finishes the two beers and asks where the bathroom is.
The third and fourth pig go up to the bartender and ask for three and four beers. After finishing their beers, they ask where the bathroom is.
The fifth pig goes up to the bar, but before he can order, the bartender says, "You don't have to say anything, you want five beers, right?"
The fifth pig says to him, "Right, but I'm the pig that goes wee wee all the way home.
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:30:33 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:30:33 GMT
George W. Bush is sitting in the White House kitchen putting together a puzzle and having a very difficult time of it. The first lady comes into the kitchen, and asks what he's doing. Very frustrated, George says, "I'm trying to do this tiger puzzle, but I can't seem to make the pieces fit right."
Laura Bush sighs and says, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box, dear, and come to bed."
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:30:57 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:30:57 GMT
SON: What vegetable makes your eyes water? DAD: An onion son. SON: You`ve obviously never been hit in the nads with an eggplant then dad!'
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:33:04 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:33:04 GMT
Sex On The Beach A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying. "Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.
"I've never been screwed," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.
"There," he says. "Now you're screwed."
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:33:21 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:33:21 GMT
i am sure you all get the idea now get posing!!
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:34:02 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:34:02 GMT
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said 'TEA TIME!'
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:34:48 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:34:48 GMT
A Father's Last Request A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me - is our youngest son my child?"
The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."
With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:36:33 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:36:33 GMT
After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please." The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers -- Budweiser." The bartender proceeds with the order.
The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever." The bartender gives him an Amstel.
Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please." The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.
All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?" He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."
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Jokes
Feb 2, 2006 14:38:08 GMT
Post by davelklatzen on Feb 2, 2006 14:38:08 GMT
A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island. The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she would find another man. The next day a man is washed on shore. He is very nice looking and finds immediate interest in the wife. The husband was very pleased that there was another man to help work. So they started on building a watchtower. The stranger and wife wanted to have mad passionate sex on the beach. So he tried to think of a plan. SO then the stranger offered to watch first from the watchtower. While the husband and wife worked, the stranger yelled, ''Hey! No fucking! Get back to work!''
At this, the couple yelled back, ''We're not fucking!''
A little while later the man again yelled out to them. And again the couple denied it. This happened several times during his shift up in the watchtower, and when his turn was over, the husband took over. With that, the stranger made love to the wife on the beach. The husband, watching, exclaimed, ''Wow, it really does look like they're fucking from up here!'''
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